


Search for Peace

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 02:54:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16823695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: “Life seems sometimes like nothing more than a series of losses, from beginning to end. That's the given. How you respond to those losses, what you make of what's left, that's the part you have to make up as you go." - Katharine Weber





	Search for Peace

Wind blew the leaves around him in a round formation, the trees around him creaked whenever the wind picked up. He didn’t notice any of it.

Nick’s gaze was focused on the three graves in front of him. 

_ George Campbell _

* * *

_ "You sure you wanna do this?” Nick asked his soon to be brother-in-law.  _

_ George took a deep breath from beside him, nodding his head. “I’m sure, Lucia will kill me if she finds out we did this.” _

_ Nick chuckled. “What my sister doesn’t know, won’t hurt her. Besides, these guys deserve it.” _

_ George clenched his jaw. Nick had no doubt he was remembering the words these guys had said about Lucia. Hell, Nick wasn’t even there but just hearing what happened made his blood boil.  _

_ No one talked about his sister like that. So, when George had wanted to teach them a lesson Nick didn’t even need to think about it.  _

_ “I got your back, brother.” Nick said, smacking his hand down on George’s shoulder. “Though we have to make a deal.” _

_ George sent him a look. “What type of deal?” _

_ “One where if things go down, you let me take all the blame.” _

_ “What?! Nick, this was my idea.” _

_ Nick moved to stand in front of him, making sure he seen the serious look on his face. “I’m serious man. You have a lot more to lose then me if this goes south.” _

_ “I don’t like it.” George sighed.  _

_ “You don’t have to. Now let's go teach those assholes a lesson.”  _

* * *

Nick’s lips twitched for a second before the cold frozen look was back on his face. 

Lucia never did find out about that night.

His eyes went to the next grave.

_ Lucia Torres Campbell _

* * *

_ “Nick?” Lucia said softly as she slowly opened his door, slipping inside. _

_ He didn’t look up. His face was buried in his hands. _

_ Lucia said nothing else while she walked towards him, sitting on the bed beside him as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him against her.  _

_ “It’ll be okay baby brother.”  _

_ Nick sobbed loudly. “No it wont!” _

_ “Shh.” Lucia made some soothing noises while beginning to rock him a little just like she use to do when he was a child. _

_ “She’s gone..” He said in a voice so low she almost didn’t hear it. _

_ “I’m sorry sweetie.” She whispered. “She was one hell of a person.” _

_ A noise sounding close to a wail left him. “I didn’t tell her!” _

_ “Tell her what?” Lucia ran a hand through his hair.  _

_ “That I love her!” Nick let out another sob, this one more painful sounding then the last. _

_ Tears pooled in her eyes.  _

_ “I’m so sorry..” Lucia’s voice cracked. _

_ She tightened her arms around him, letting him cry until he eventually passed out from exhaustion.  _

* * *

Tears slid down his cheeks as the memory hit him. Lucia had been the only one to comfort him after the death of Sofia. 

Looking to the last grave, Nick swallowed roughly.

_ Amanda Campbell _

* * *

_ Nick walked into the living room with an arm full of snacks. He went over to the makeshift fort in the middle of the room. _

_ “I got the snacks!” He announced, somehow being able to not drop any as he crawled inside of it.  _

_ “Yay!” Cheered his 6 year old niece. She let out a dramatic gasp as she grabbed for the bag of gummy worms. “My favorite!” _

_ Nick grinned, ripping open a bag of chips. “Of course, only the best for our sleepover!” _

_ Amanda squealed. “You’re the best uncle Nick!” _

_ “Just don’t tell your mom I let you have all this junk this late, got it?” Nick stuck out his pinky making Amanda giggle, wrapping her pinky around his as they pinky swore.  _

_ “What about daddy?”  _

_ Nick rubbing his chin as if to be thinking making her giggle again. “How about this stays our little secret?” _

_ She eagerly nodded. “Copy that!” _

_ He chuckled. He taught her well. _

_ “Why are you always gone, uncle Nick?” Amanda asked after they had finished their snacks. They were now laying down on the blankets, staring up at the christmas lights he had hung above them.  _

_ “I have to work munchkin.” Nick told her, that feeling of guilt creeping in. “But I’m always here with you.” _

_ Amanda glanced at him. “Really? How?” _

_ Nick pointed to her heart. “Right there, no matter where I am or how far away, I’m always right there.” _

_ She nodded her head smiling.  _

* * *

Nick fell to his knees, tears pouring out as he sobbed. 

Lucia and Amanda had died a year ago today but for the first time, he cried.

* * *

_ “Gibbs..” Nick choked out, his eyes locked on the burning house across the street.  _

_ “I’m sorry Nick..” Gibbs said softly, his hands quickly going to Nick’s shoulders to hold him back as he tried to shove forward. _

_ “Let me go!” He shouted.  _

_ “They’re gone Nick.” Gibbs said firmly, sympathy lacing his tone. “You running in there will only hurt yourself!” _

_ “That’s my family, Gibbs!” He yelled.  _

_ Gibbs said nothing as he held him back, Tim soon moving over to help restrain him.  _

_ “Nick!” Ellie shouted, her voice seeming to cut through to him as he stopped struggling. Slowly Gibbs and Tim backed away. She moved to stand in front of him. “There’s nothing you can do, Nick.” _

_ Pain was evident in her voice, seeming to almost match the pain Nick felt inside. _

_ His knees gave out. Ellie dropped to her knees in front of him, wrapping her arms around him.  _

_ No tears left him, but he still gripped onto her tightly.  _

* * *

After what seemed like hours, he finally picked himself off the cold ground. His eyes were red and puffy but he paid it no mind as he walked towards his car.

Once behind the wheel, he slipped a small picture out from his jacket pocket. 

He and Ellie were smiling brightly, his arm thrown over her shoulder with hers around his waist. 

Nick ran his thumb over the picture before sliding it back into the pocket. 

Seconds later he was driving away from the cemetery. He had someone to see.

* * *

_ Ellie watched him pack some of his stuff up, a sad but understanding look on her face. _

_ He had told her only hours ago that he was leaving. Losing Lucia and Amanda made him feel like he was drowning. Nick just knew he needed to leave for a while, he was afraid of what would happen if he stayed.  _

_ Ellie at first had yelled at him, shouting words at him that he’d never heard come out of her mouth. Some in english, some not. After she had calmed, he had explained how he felt and after some tears, she understood his need to get away.  _

_ “Do you know how long you’ll be gone?” Ellie asked softly when he zipped up his last bag.  _

_ Nick turned around. “I don’t know.” _

_ “Just..be careful?”  _

_ He stepped towards her, looking her straight in the eye. “I won’t do anything stupid, I promise.” _

_ “I’ll miss you..” Her voice cracked. “You’re my best friend.” _

_ Nick leaned forward, placing a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll miss you too.” _

_ “Wait-” Ellie said when they walked to his door. “I-” _

_ He turned towards her. Ellie closed her eyes for a second. _

_ “This isn’t me attempting to make you stay but..I need to say it-” _

_ He took a step closer. “Say what?” _

_ “I love you.” She said softly. “Tell me..tell me to wait, and I’ll do it. I just need to know you’ll wait too-” _

_ Nick kissed her, cutting off the rest of her words. Ellie whimpered against his mouth, kissing him back just as fiercely.  _

_ They pulled back breathless, their foreheads resting against the other. _

_ “I love you too.” At his words, Ellie took a little intake of breath. “Wait for me?” _

_ “Yes. Wait for me?”  _

_ Nick kissed her softly. _

_ “Always.” _

* * *

Nick felt his heart racing as he stood outside her apartment door. 

A year had past since, and he hadn’t even done as much as look at anyone else. He hoped with everything he had that she  _ had _ waited for him.

Taking a breath, he knocked.

“Coming!” He heard her shout. His heart jumped at just hearing her voice for the first time in a year.

The door swung open, 

She looked even more beautiful. 

Her eyes widened. “Nick!”

“Hey..”

Honestly he had been prepared for her to punch him for being gone so long but instead she had pulled him into her apartment, shut the door, and jumped at him.

He caught her effortlessly, holding her tightly as she buried her face in his shoulder. 

“Please tell me you’re back for good.” Ellie said, her voice teary when she pulled away to look at him.

“I am.”

Suddenly Ellie punched his arm. Nick flinched at the pain but couldn’t help the smile forming on his face. That was his girl. 

“A year Nick!” She scowled. “You  _ better _ be back for good, or this time I’m hunting your ass down!” 

He chuckled, cupping her cheek with his hand. “I waited.”

Ellie stopped. “Really?”

Nick nodded. 

She smiled. “I waited too.”

He wasted no more time.

The hand on her cheek moved to tangle in her hair, pulling her towards him. Their lips crashing together as a year of being apart fueled the kiss. ‘I love you’s’ were mumbled and whispered between them whenever air was needed but neither one moved away from the other. Ellie’s hands were gripping his shirt and his hair that was longer than last time she seen him. Nick’s hands were tangled in her hair and gripping her waist tightly. 

Hours later they laid in her bed, tangled together as if they were both too afraid to let go. 

Nick had told her everything from his year alone. He had spent it traveling visiting either a favorite place of Lucia’s and Amanda’s, or somewhere they had wanted to visit. Then he confessed about not crying, until earlier when he had visited their graves for the first time.

Ellie in turn told him how Gibbs had understood his leaving and was ready to put his foot down to Vance about not replacing him but to all their surprise, Vance had instead asked Alex to come back and fill in Nick’s position until he returned. Alex who had finally placed her mom in a home where they could help her better, accepted with the condition that she be allowed to visit her mom on the weekends. 

When learning there wasn’t one person angry at him, the tension and guilt he carried around about his NCIS family being mad at him, left him. 

Nick wrapped his arms tighter around Ellie. 

For the first time since seeing the house on fire..he felt at peace. 


End file.
